Two crucial words

On Oct. 25, I delivered the opening prayer at the Oklahoma City Council meeting. There was an unexpected convergence between the content of my prayer and the meeting’s first agenda item. First, let me share the prayer:

Vice Mayor Meg Salyer, city council members, thank you for this opportunity.

Lord our God, we pray this morning to refine our sense of vision. As our city expands and as we welcome more newcomers, help us define and maintain an ever-present sense of vision.

Disparate groups vie for control over who determines the vision of our city: Who we have been, who we are, who we will be. How can we balance these visions which at times conflict or even contradict?

Give us the strength to listen to the stories, hopes and dreams of our neighbors. Help us provide room for them at the table as we journey into an exciting future.

May we balance the rootedness of who we have been — possessing a clear sense of place and identity — with fulfilling the potential of who we will be.

May the prophet Isaiah inspire us as he did thousands of years ago: In our quest for vision and as we fulfill our unique potential as Oklahomans, may we soar on wings like eagles, run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint. (adopted from Isaiah 40:31)

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With the first item of business at the meeting, Councilman Ed Shadid (Ward 2) attempted to call for a vote to add two words — “sexual orientation” — to the city’s equal employment opportunity ordinance. The current policy forbids discrimination based on sex, race, religion, political affiliation, among other reasons.

In quick fashion, a number of council members spoke and asked for the vote to be delayed. After discussion, council members agreed to delay the vote of adding those two crucial words until Nov. 15.

These are exciting days for our city. We are witnessing the transformation of our downtown. Classen Curve offers eclectic shops and restaurants. The oil and natural gas industries have softened the economic blows the majority of our nation has experienced.

Ideally, Oklahoma City will become more attractive to newcomers. But let’s be realistic. Based upon the last two census counts, in the South and Southwest, only two states lost electoral college votes: Mississippi and Oklahoma.

People weigh a number of factors when moving from one state to another. Much about Oklahoma City is attractive: the standard of living, the cost of housing, the quality of education, the Thunder and that intangible “buzz.” A drawback is living in a city where one can be fired simply for one’s sexual orientation.

For many, this is a moral issue. The religious values they embrace describe lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) behavior as inherently sinful.

For me, this is a human issue. I embrace Reform Judaism’s teaching that Jewish law is contextual and organic. What Torah says about gay and lesbian behavior was written in a particular time and place and need not apply to the 21st century. I believe that we are all created in the image of God, and that the law should protect those in the heterosexual and LGBT communities equally.

On Nov. 15, our city council’s vote will define how we view each other and how people who may move to our city view us.

If you live in Oklahoma City, please contact your councilman to express your views. Without a doubt, both those who favor adding those two crucial words and those who oppose adding those two crucial words now have time to get organized.

What will be the vision of our city? Will we allow any employee to be fired for being lesbian, gay, bi-sexual or transgender?

How would we feel if city council were voting that anyone could be fired for being Jewish?

Sanctified same-sex unions

We just celebrated the 235th anniversary of our nation’s birth.

We can use this time to reflect upon the power of our Constitution and how we continue  to interpret it to correct wrongs and injustices, to spread equality and protection.

The 1st amendment created  freedom of religion; the 13th amendment abolished slavery; the 19th amendment ensured women’s right to vote.

We can also consider landmark legislation. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 outlawed racial segregation, ended unequal application of voting rights and ensured greater equality between men and women in the work place; Loving v. Virginia in 1967 made laws preventing Caucasians from marrying non-Caucasians unconstitutional; the 1990 Americans with Disabilities Act made illegal any forms of discrimination based on physical and mental disabilities.

Our next great step forward considers same-sex unions (legal in five states) and same-sex marriage (legal in three states). The recent addition of New York makes this number four.

Within Judaism, much controversy surrounds the subject of same-sex marriage. But how we interpret law and tradition has changed with the times, organically, much like how we interpret our nation’s constitution.

I am proud of the courageous stances our Reform rabbis have made. In 1996, we passed a resolution accepting same-sex civil marriage; in 2000, we affirmed the use of ritual to commemorate same-sex unions.

However, we have yet to to take an official stance on whether same-sex unions/marriages have the same sense of Jewish holiness as heterosexual Jewish marriage.

What do I believe?

I believe it is possible for both heterosexual couples and same-sex couples to foster a relationship with an equal sense of holiness. This holds whether we are speaking of a Jewish heterosexual couple, an interfaith heterosexual couple, a same-sex couple where both are Jewish or an interfaith same-sex couple. To me, all can share a sacred, committed, permanent bond.

The Reform Movement teaches that being gay or lesbian is not a sin and that gay and lesbian sexual acts are not sinful. We teach that all are created in God’s image and that God would never create a person who was inherently sinful.

Within our nation’s legal code, in a way, our judges are making parallel constitutional rulings. Gay and lesbian sexual acts are no longer equivalent to violations of the law. Gay and lesbian couples should have the same opportunities and be protected by the same laws as heterosexual couples.

Jewish law and constitutional law can agree: the rights of minorities should be protected; might is not right; no one’s civil rights should be denied because of the religious beliefs of others.

As we celebrate the anniversary of our nation’s birth, may how we interpret our constitution continue to correct past injustice, foster equality, and as stated in its preamble, “form a more perfect union.”

And may how we interpret Jewish law and tradition strive to express the same ideals.

What is ‘Visual T’filah’?

On Friday evening, May 20, we will worship using “Visual T’filah.”

“Visual T’filah” uses technology to associate familiar prayers with corresponding imagery (i.e. pairing the blessing for “God’s causing evening to fall” with an inspiring sunset; pairing “Mi Chamocha” with protective walls of water). When we combine this imagery with music and communal readings, we create a unique worship experience.

Rabbi Daniel Medwin created the “Visual T’filah” concept, and it is being used in Reform congregations from coast to coast, as well as at national conferences.

(Of note, last summer, Joel Guskin created a Power Point worship service, which enabled us to read excerpted English and Hebrew prayers, as well as chant and sing without being tied to our prayer books. Without our knowing it, this was an early version of our own “Visual T’filah!”)

With “Visual T’filah,” we are not copying the use of projection systems by mega-churches.

Both Christians and Jews are swimming in the same “technological ocean.”

Technology is neutral. Technology is a tool. We use it in classrooms and boardrooms. We use it as a form of entertainment with smart phones and i-pads. We use it as a means of communication, through e-mails, IMs and tweets.

Does it not make sense that we can use technology to communicate with God as a “k’hilah k’dosha,” a sacred community?

Our initial reaction may be, “Ugh!!!! What are you doing to my worship service?” But come and pray with us on Friday; our reaction just may be “wow!”

With his Masters HUC-JIR thesis, Rabbi Medwin reminds us that for generations, we have been using technology to enable “prayer to remain dynamic and meaningful to worshipers.”

At first, we could only express liturgy orally; worship leaders prayed from memory. Only the most literate were able to join in.

But in time, prayer diversity grew so large that we began to lose continuity, community to community. By the 9th century, writes Medwin, Rabbi Amran Gaon, was asked to communicate an official guide to worship. As a result, he lifted the ban on writing down the liturgy.

At first, most congregations only had one hand-written prayer book. But with the creation of the printing press — a neutral technological innovation — everything changed. Writes Medwin, “the printing press sharply reduced the cost of books, and eventually all members of the congregation were able to hold their own siddur (prayer book).”

Though not as technologically revolutionary as the printing press, “Visual T’filah” is a tool congregations can use to express their unique worship identities. As a means of inspiration, congregants can gaze upon the words and images on the screen, pray together and sing, heads held high — and still hold a prayer book. The familiar order of the service will remain the same, but Shabbat to Shabbat, the visual elements can change in order to increase the liturgy’s relevance and likelihood to inspire participants to greater heights.

In preparation for Shabbat worship, I invite you to learn more about “Visual T’filah.”

Do We Truly Support Our Youth?

Again and again, at temple programs and worship services, we claim to support our youth. We say we pride ourselves at how much we value our children, from Consecration to b’nai mitzvah ceremonies, from Israel Pilgrimage fundraisers to Confirmation.

But where were you last Friday night? Do you know what happened?

Last Friday night, Temple B’nai Israel confirmed seven students. But the number of congregants who celebrated the culmination of our youth’s education — the pivotal moment when they proclaimed their identitifcation with the Jewish people — was disappointingly low.

We may say we celebrate our youth. Last Friday evening, our actions proved those words to be hollow.

I wrote a comparable blog posting three years ago (May 15, 2008). What I wrote then applies today:

“As I looked out at the sanctuary, I was struck by how few congregants were present to watch the evening unfold. If I subtracted the confirmands’ parents, siblings and grandparents from those in attendance, the resulting number was embarrassing low.

“At the temple, we speak of how we are a family, how we support one another, how we are there for one another during times of sorrow and celebration. The reality of last Friday night was a stark contrast from this lofty vision.

“For the Confirmation students and their families, the event was still memorable and sweet. But how much more memorable and sweet could it have been if more congregants were present, expressing their support?”

So where were you last Friday night? You missed a wonderful Confirmation ceremony. You missed the prayers that the Confirmation students wrote, expressing their thanksgiving and their passion for Israel and Torah. You missed their inspirational words that communicated their commitment to Reform Judaism.

As a congregation, we need to do a better job of making sure our actions line up with our words. Do we truly support our youth? Let’s prove it.

Festival of Faith

One of the best ways for a stranger to become a friend is by sharing a meal together.

A year-and-a-half ago, we had such an opportunity when Jews, Christians and Muslims gathered at St. Luke’s United Methodist Church to break bread.

On April 13, we have an opportunity to do the same.

With its “Festival of Faith,” St. Luke’s has invited Temple B’nai Israel and the Islamic Society of Greater Oklahoma City to share dinner, preceding a lecture by best-selling author Bruce Feiler.

We had such an amazing experience with St. Luke’s in the fall of 2009; a significant number of Temple members contributed their time and energy to help represent the Jewish community.

For that event, Jews, Christians and Muslims ate together, socialized, prayed, and hopefully learned that more unites us than divides us.

Author Bruce Feiler has devoted much of his professional life to this effort. With his book “Abraham,” Feiler reveals how our patriarch is big enough for the world’s three monotheistic faiths to share; our embracing Abraham is not a zero-sum game.

Feiler’s “Walking the Bible” and ”Where God Was Born” make the Torah’s ancient narratives as relevant today as they were thousands of years ago.

After our dinner at 5:00, Feiler will speak at a lecture open to the public.

His most recent work is “The Council of Dads: My Daughters, My Illness, and the Men Who Could Be Me.” This book spoke to my heart. He wrote of his Southern Jewish roots and raising a Jewish family. He described the beauty and challenges of twins and his fears when he confronted a life-threatening illness. Feiler reflected upon the preciousness of life and wondered, if he lost his life, who would be “dad” to his daughters?

As many of you know, I faced my own health crisis when I was only 19. I suffered a brain hemorrhage; if the timing had been different or had the location of the hemorrhage been deeper in my brain, I would never have survived, let alone married or become a dad.

When I read Feiler’s latest work, I too reflected upon the preciousness of life, family, parenthood and friendship. I feel lucky to have become the dad of beautiful twins and look forward to our many adventures to come.

Please join us at the “Festival of Faith” on Wednesday, April 13. Dinner (which is free) will be at 5:00, followed by Feiler’s lecture at 6:45. St. Luke’s United Methodist Church is located at 222 NW 15th Street, Oklahoma City. After the lecture, Feiler will have a book-signing.

I want to thank Sarah Harel and the ICSS committee for having Confirmation Academy students attend Feiler’s lecture.

Please e-mail me if you will be attending the special 5:00 dinner.

Looking forward to seeing you at the “Festival of Faith.”

Legislature Targets Women’s Health

These are dark days at the Oklahoma state legislature. With a variety of bills, our representatives and senators are stripping away women’s Pro-Choice freedoms and chipping away at doctors’ ability to provide quality health care to women.

As a husband, a son,  a father of a daughter, an uncle of nieces and a brother of a sister, words alone cannot express my frustration. If the bills currently working through our legislature become law, the result will affect not only the health and welfare of women, but possibly their lives.

HB1402 requires medical facilities where an abortion was performed after 20 weeks gestation to report the reason for the procedure to the State Department of Health and for records of the procedure to be kept for five years. This alone represents an unnecessary intrusion of government into a highly personal decision.

What makes this bill worse is that it opens the door for the facility where the abortion was performed to be punished,  based upon the estimated age of the fetus. If the woman is married, her husband can bring charges; in addition, the woman’s parents can bring charges. The facility could lose its license, in addition to state funding.

Whether or not to have an abortion is the woman’s choice. Her husband or parents should not have the right to bring charges against the facility where the procedure occurred, simply because they disagree with the choice. If a health clinic loses its license or state funding, then all of the women who could receive quality medical care from that facility would suffer.

Another bill is HB1888, which has already passed the House and is currently making its way through the Senate. According to this bill, if the probable age of the fetus is 20 weeks or more, a physician is only allowed to perform an abortion to save the mother’s life or prevent major injury. The physician is not to consider the woman’s psychological state or the result of the procedure upon her psychological welfare when determining whether or not to perform the abortion. (Of note, when debating abortion, Jewish Law considers BOTH the woman’s physical AND psychological welfare.)

In addition, this bill requires the physician to make every effort not to terminate the pregnancy, but conduct a delivery, regardless of the affect upon the woman’s psychological welfare. And anyone can take  legal action against the physician who performs any procedure in violation of the requirements of this bill.

Lastly, a report of the procedure must be filed with the Department of Health.

If this bill passes the Senate, it will arguably decrease the likelihood that OBGYN doctors would want to continue to practice medicine in Oklahoma or set up a practice in Oklahoma; the result would adversely affect the quality of care available to women in our state.

A third bill is SB547. It concerns the connection between the recent federal health care overhaul and the setting up of “exchanges.” This bill would prohibit an “elective abortion” from being covered in the exchange. To cover the abortion, a separate premium would have to be paid.

How exactly is “elective abortion” defined? What if the woman cannot afford the procedure? What if her welfare is threatened by the pregnancy?

In relation with these “exchanges,” many claim that they do not want their taxes to fund medical procedures they find immoral. This is a fallacious argument. We cannot pick and choose how the government uses our taxes. I could list a number of government programs I oppose or find immoral, but that does not mean I have the power to force the state or federal government to comply with my wishes.

Rather than passing bills which restrict a woman’s right to choose and increase the likelihood physicians will be legally prosecuted for performing medical procedures, our legislature should work to ensure women’s health care in general: sex education, wellness, family planning and pre-natal care.

Such efforts would be moral and in keeping with the best interests of women of all ages.

Let’s always remember that behind every bill and every piece of legislation is a face: If we look carefully, we will see our mother, wife, daughter, sister or niece.

Please contact your legislator and express your opposition to these bills currently working their way through the legislature.

A Delayed Response

I have purposely been slow to respond to the latest shooting in Tucson by Jared Loughner, who allegedly took the lives of nine and wounded 14.

Included were a murdered judge, John Roll, and a wounded representative, Gabrielle Giffords  (who happens to be Jewish).

We are all trying to answer the same question: “Why did this happen?”

Right now, I am comfortable arguing the following:

There will always be sociopaths, the mentally ill and those who lash out at their perceived enemies. What sets them off? No one will ever know for sure. Why do they resort to violence? No one will ever know for sure.

Right now, the question we need to answer is “how will we lessen the damage they inflict, the next time one of them lashes out?”

What we do know is that their preferred weapon of choice is assault weapons. Our nation is swimming in them. Legally, they are easy to obtain, and since there are so many on the black market, they are easy to obtain illegally.

If Loughner had lashed out with a knife, he would have inflicted much less damage; even if he had lashed out with a revolver, there would have been fewer casualties.

But Loughner legally obtained a semi-automatic  Glock handgun with a 33 bullet clip.

I am not arguing against the 2nd amendment: ”A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

I can understand why our nation’s founders wrote those words; after all, we had just rebelled from the mighty British empire.

But today, who is the enemy that drives so many of us to obtain arms to feel safe? (The argument that the enemy is the U.S. government is nonsense; and concerning illegal aliens, terrorists, drug addicts and hard-core criminals,  I continue to sleep well at night trusting the skills, training and tools of local law enforcement, the National Guard and the U.S. military.)

The psychotic and deranged will always exist in our nation; they will continue to snap and lash out. Why do we allow them to lash out with deadly force?

With the current laws in place, we should hardly be surprised when they inflict massive casualties at universities, high schools, work places, or political gatherings.

The bottom line is this: We need stricter laws, including thorough background checks. We desperately need greater controls on assault weapons.

But here’s the kicker: Anxiety and fear spur gun sales.

According to reporting by “Bloomberg,” the day after the shooting, one-day sales of  handguns in Arizona jumped 60 percent compared to last year,  in Ohio jumped 65 percent, in Illinois jumped 38 percent and in New York jumped 33 percent.

As a nation, what is wrong with us?

Oh, and we need a better healthcare system that increases the likelihood the mentally ill will be treated for their condition so that the overwhelming majority of us can go about out days, saved from them, as they are saved from themselves.

But that’s the subject for another blog posting…

State-Sanctioned Bigotry in Israel?

There exists a growing concern that an insurmountable gulf exists between Israel and the Diaspora — an emotional alienation between us and the Jewish state.

Based upon the latest acts by the ultra-Orthodox establishment and Knesset members, we should not be surprised. 

Strength In Being Different

Since childhood, I have always struggled with this time of the year. With Christmas being everywhere I go, I have felt like an outsider. Now that I have two young children, my feelings at times have only intensified.

But this year is different.

I read an article “One Nation, With Aunt Susan” in the latest edition of the Economist. The article concerned a study by social scientists Robert Putnam of Harvard University and David Campbell of the University of Notre Dame.

One of the results of the study? Religious diversity gives Americans a “civic glue,  uniting, rather than dividing.”

Therefore, during this time of the year, Jews need not feel alienated. Rather, our contribution of Hanukkah is not a side show, but rather a vital part of what keeps our nation together.

How can this be?

The study concluded that the high rate of intermarriage is not to be feared. (By intermarriage, we are talking about much more than a Jew marrying a Christian.) Half of Americans are married to someone who grew up in a different religion than their own. This is the “Aunt Susan” referred to in the title of the article.

The study explains that we all have an “Aunt Susan”; she can be Methodist, Jewish or Catholic. Once she becomes part of our family and we learn about her religious practices and beliefs, we realize that she too deserves a place in heaven. We accept her religiously for who she is.

Religious diversity in schools and the work place is also binding us. To use a local example: At work, we foster a friendships based on a common interests, and only later learn our friend belongs to Life Church. As a result, we become more warm and accepting of others who belong to Life Church.

The study revealed this trend with hard data: Putnam and Campbell surveyed thousands in the summer of 2006, and surveyed the same group one year later. Those whose circles became more religiously diverse expressed warmer feelings towards other religions in general.

But all of the results of the study are not rosy. Ten percent of those in the study are religious “true believers,” those who believe they have the exclusive road to heaven. They have little acceptance for those outside of their faith. (We must remember that Jews have our own version of highly judgmental “true believers.”)

In addition, it appears that America’s circle of tolerance is limited. We tend to be highly accepting of Protestants, Catholics and Jews of all stripes, but not Muslims, Buddhists and Mormons.

I predict that it is only a matter of time until “Aunt Susan” is a Muslim or a Mormon

During this Christmas season and beyond, we can take pride in being Jewish. We are providing a valuable civic service. Every friend we make who is not Jewish makes us and them more religiously tolerant, celebrates religious pluralism, and binds our nation.

I want to wish you all a Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas and a Joyous Kwanzaa!

Another Successful Conclave

I believe that the future of Reform Judaism is alive and well.

Last weekend, our congregation and youth group hosted Fall Conclave for NFTY-TOR (North American Federation of Temple Youth – Texas Oklahoma Region). The theme of the event was “Judaism: Choose Your  Own Path.”

Taking part were 19 youth from OKATY and Jr. OKATY and 124 youth from the region. Mazel tov specifically to co-chairpeople Evan Traylor and Shelby Guskin and youth director, Barbie Greer. Of course, thank you to everyone who helped with housing, food, preparation and clean-up.

I had high expectations for the weekend because I knew how hard our youth and adults had been working. By the time the event was over early Sunday afternoon, my expectations had been met, but moreover, I had increased confidence that our youth will be ready as pluralistic Jews for what waits them on college campuses and throughout young adulthood.

We have such wonderful youth in the Texas Oklahoma region. They possess wonderful ideas,  excitement and energy.

In addition, they respect one another and their advisors. They behaved well on our temple campus and acted maturely during the Havdallah service at the Murrah Building Memorial.

I am hopeful that they will continue to rise to the challenge and make mature choices.

Last weekend was a crucial step in our youth’s learning how to shape and hone the Reform Movement. I learned much about them: in some ways, they are becoming more traditional ritually (i.e. kashrut, tallit, kippah, more Hebrew in the worship service); but in other ways, they are cutting edge (i.e. increasingly open to interfaith marriage; accepting and welcoming of those who are lesbian, gay, bi-sexual or transgender).

They are passionate about having strong Jewish identities, but they are eager to incorporate their particular identities into a concern for humanity in general. In this spirit, they have embraced tikkun olam, our obligation to help heal our world.

Once again, mazel tov to our congregation, youth and adult alike, for rising to the challenge, providing a quality weekend, fostering wonderful memories and bolstering our pluralistic identities.